35 self-awareness questions that will unlock personal growth

The benefits of self-awareness

Have you ever met someone who exuded quiet confidence, even while saying very little? Perhaps they seemed to move through the world with ease and grace, without ever needing to explain themselves to others.

Chances are, that person had a high level of self-awareness and importantly, self-acceptance.

Taking the time to get to know ourselves enriches every area of our lives, from our careers to our personal relationships. Research shows it makes us more confident, self-assured, and creative.¹

It also facilitates better decision-making, because we're in tune with what we desire.² It also makes us more effective leaders, because we're more likely to be realistic (and humble) about our shortcomings and delegate to those who balance us out.³

There are two different types of self-awareness. Research shows that people who score high in one area may not necessarily excel in the other.⁴

The first type is internal self-awareness: when we clearly understand our own thoughts, feelings, values, and emotions. This is linked to higher job and relationship satisfaction and overall happiness.

Meanwhile, external self-awareness: is when you have an accurate view of how other people view you. People high in this type tend to have greater interpersonal effectiveness, even if it's sometimes at the cost of their own happiness.

Research also shows a strong connection between empathy and high external self-awareness, as it tends to come with an ability to put yourself in other's shoes.⁵

Techniques for practicing self-awareness

To achieve continuous personal growth, it's important to foster internal and external self-awareness. But how do you do this? After all, not everyone has the time for deep introspection. The good news is you can incorporate regular self-inquiry into activities you may already be doing.

The key is to activate the brain's default mode network, the cognitive system that is activated when we daydream, reminisce, and plan for the future. Linked closely to introspection and self-referential thinking, this type of mental activity allows us to delve deeper into our subconscious.⁶

The default mode network is activated when the brain is at rest. Meditation and breath work are great ways to tap into this state. It can also be as simple as asking yourself self-reflection questions at night just before you drift off to sleep, when new insights are more likely to emerge.

Journaling is another great way to activate the default mode network. Whether you use the journaling prompts below or take a free-flow approach, simply put pen to paper and see what comes up.

You can also use technology to achieve greater self-awareness. By answering a few questions about what motivates you, our AI Coach Marlee can gain a deep understanding of your personal drives, communication style, strengths, and blind spots.

You can then ask Marlee questions about yourself and how you relate to the people around you. You'll gain personalized insights and guidance tailored specifically to you.

Wondering what questions to ask to accelerate your professional and personal development?

Read on for 35 insightful questions to ask yourself that are sure to unlock some lightbulb moments.

Questions to uncover your true self

Understanding who we truly are underneath all the social conditioning helps us build more authentic connections and pursue a more intentional life.

These thought-provoking questions will help you peel back the layers so you can connect with the real you.

1. How did I love to spend my time as a child?
2. How would I describe myself in a sentence without using my job description?
3. How do I behave when there's nobody else around to see it?
4. What are the masks that I wear in my everyday life?
5. What makes me feel like a child again?

Questions about your goals and aspirations

Feeling listless or like you've lost your path in life? Having meaningful goals to work towards isn't just nice to have; it's crucial for our sense of purpose.

These questions will illuminate the way so you can jump out of bed each morning with renewed enthusiasm.

6. What would I want to achieve in my life, even if nobody else knew about it?

7. What is a small way I can leave the world a little better than how I found it?
8. Even if I had everything else I wanted in life, I could never be happy without [blank]
9. How would I spend my days if time or money weren't constraints?
10. What do I imagine my biggest regret will be when I approach the end of my life?

Questions to unearth areas for self-growth

Without making an effort to actively improve and evolve, we easily become stagnant. Sure, inspecting the more negative aspects of our personality can feel confronting and uncomfortable. But, by answering these questions with self-compassion and a growth mindset, you can unlock opportunities for evolution in work and life.

11. What emotional situations tend to trigger me in my everyday life?

12. What are my boundaries, and how well do I enforce them?
13. In what ways am I standing in the way of what I want in life?
14. What would my friends and family say is my biggest weakness?
15. What is the one challenge that keeps showing up in my life over and over again?

Questions to gain greater career clarity

If you're feeling burnt out at work or at a crossroads and not sure what direction to take, these questions will uncover new possibilities for aligning your work with your personal values.

16. When was the last time I was truly 'in the zone' working on something? What was I doing?
17. What do I find myself Google searching out of pure curiosity?
18. What's the topic my friends and family are sick of hearing me talk about?
19. What are the positive aspects and negative aspects of my current role?
20. What do I secretly wish I could spend my days doing?

Questions to improve your lifestyle and physical health

Feeling a bit 'blah' recently? It can be challenging to pinpoint the causes and determine which daily habits to focus on.

From your mental health to your physical wellness, these questions help you figure out what needs to change.

21. What activities energize me in my daily life?
22. What activities deplete me in my daily life?
23. What is the one most powerful practice I could add to my routine that would have a positive domino effect?
24. Where in my life could I be showing up for myself more?
25. When was the last time I felt truly strong and capable? What was I doing?

Questions to better understand your core values

When we stand for everything, we stand for nothing. While we'd all love to change the world, it's impossible to champion every cause.

These questions help you determine what's important to you so you know where to put your attention and energy.

26. What makes me angry about the world?
27. What would an authentic life look like if I didn't care about what others thought?
28. What am I especially stubborn about in my everyday life?
29. What have been some of the proudest moments in my life so far?
30. What am I prepared to stand up to others about, even if it means being disliked?

Questions to identify obstacles and roadblocks

It can be frustrating to look back and realize you're still in the same place you were a year ago, whether that's with your fitness goals or spending habits.

These reflective questions will help you understand the self-sabotaging behaviors keeping you stuck in a state of inertia,

31. How am I standing in the way of what I want in life?
32. What challenges keep showing up in my life over and over again?
33. In what areas of my life am I stuck in my comfort zone?
34. In what ways am I preventing myself from having the full human experience?
35. What is my most unhelpful thought pattern when I find myself in challenging situations?

Tips for turning self-awareness into action

Now you have an inventory of self-reflection questions you can use to get to know yourself on a deeper level. But what do you do with the answers? After all, introspection without action can leave you in a negative self-talk spiral where you feel worse about yourself.

These practical strategies will allow you to use your answers as valuable opportunities for growth:

Set goals for personal growth

Hopefully, asking yourself these deep questions has illuminated the changes you want to make in your current life. Now, it's time to turn this into an action plan.

There are many approaches to personal goal setting, from SMART goals to creating a vision board. What works for one person may not necessarily work for another.

You can use our AI Coach Marlee to determine the weaknesses (which we prefer to call blind spots) that may be holding back your success in life.

After answering questions on what motivates you, Marlee offers personalized advice based on your attitudes and motivational traits, to help you succeed.

🎯 Once you've set a goal in the Marlee app, you can also get tailored recommendations for the best online coaching program to unlock new opportunities for learning.

Create a self-reflection routine

Self-discovery isn't a 'one and done' thing but rather an ongoing journey. Making time for regular self-reflection will play a key role in your evolution. Whether going for a walk without music or having regular massages, incorporating mindfulness practices and self-care activities into your daily life will create space for quiet contemplation.

Measure your progress over time

By making self-awareness a regular practice, you'll find that you're ever-evolving in your personal and professional life. It's a good idea to track your progress, so you can look back and be proud of how far you've come!

Inside the Marlee platform, you'll find a 'Me Over Time' dashboard to track your personal growth as you complete coaching programs.

Another helpful strategy is to elicit constructive feedback from colleagues, partners or other people in your life. Keeping a curious mindset, you might ask something along the lines of "Have you noticed any changes recently in my communication approach?"

This external perspective can be useful in pinpointing where you've grown, and the areas you might still need to address.

Become an advocate for self-awareness

As you embark on a path of true character development, people will likely start to notice. Perhaps they'll be inspired by your positive mindset, or the more conscious choices you make.

This is the perfect opportunity to take them on the journey with you. Maintaining healthy relationships is easier when both people have high self-awareness and are committed to working on themselves.

One area where deep self-reflection is particularly valuable is in professional relationships. Backed by decades of research on human behavior, Marlee helps you better understand yourself and your teammates.

By answering a few questions about yourself, you gain powerful insights about how you score on 48 motivational traits. Then, by sharing Marlee with your colleagues, you can uncover patterns in team dynamics, such as differences or similarities in your communication style.

You can also ask Marlee questions about yourself and your colleagues, such as "Is Elizabeth's communication style a good fit for our cross-functional Growth Team?"

This not only helps you build deeper connections at work but may reduce any potential friction down the track.

Leverage self-reflection questions to better understand yourself and others

By taking the time to ask thought-provoking questions, of yourself and others, you can uncover opportunities for growth in all aspects of life. This will set you up for a future that aligns with your life goals.

Want to see how Marlee can kickstart your self-awareness journey? Get started for free.